there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
