I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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