Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had to cum in my sink.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
