Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
