i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
