She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
