I wannas sexs uuuuu
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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