My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
