Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
