Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
