So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
