i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
