clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
