Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
