Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
