who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Couch. On fire.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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