As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
