So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
