i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
