ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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