lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
