Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
