I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You should frame my arrest warrant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
