We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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