He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
