so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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