i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
