that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
