Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
