I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
