so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
