Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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