Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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