Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
