My nipple is on Facebook.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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