im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
