You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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