I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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