I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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