i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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