I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
