Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
