We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
