i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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