Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
