I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
