I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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