i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
