i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
