How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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