so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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