so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
