good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
