garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
