Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
